I am a planner by nature, always have been.
My current profession is a Project Manager, but my life in its present moment isn’t really all that planned. I am working on making peace with that. I seem to be right in the middle of a crossroads.
- About a year ago I moved across the world from Seattle to London to get my MBA.
- About two months ago, I gave notice at my job to be able to travel and explore and breathe a bit this summer.
- A few weeks ago I gave notice on my current flat as I realized that I although I love my current flatmate (as they call them over here), I really treasure having my own space.
So this means I will get back from exploring Spain, Portugal and who knows where in August and I’ll be jobless and homeless. The craziest part about this – is that when I look at myself a few years ago there is no way that I would be OK with any of these situations (i.e traveling alone, quitting a job before having another one lined up, and giving notice on an apartment at a time when I’ll be traveling and unable to find a new one).
So – What makes it different now?
I believe deep down that I am never alone. I am able to take these leaps of faith because I am trusting that I am being guided and supported and that ultimately they will all lead to my further growth and development.
How do I make peace with uncertainty?
I trust that everything is going as it’s supposed to, that I am exactly where I am meant to be, and that I am loved and supported always.
How do I get to a point of trusting?
Well I can break it down to four things that I have actually gotten from 3 different courses here from the Intention Inspired Team (30 days of Brave, 30 days of Love, and 30 days of Enlightment)
1. I realize how brave I already am – and know that I can handle anything that comes my way
As co-founder of Intention Inspired Matt has said in his introduction to 30 Days of Brave “You are already brave… I guarantee it,” I have actually had quite a few people in my life recently comment on my bravery in different contexts. I can see how far I have come. How much I have flexed this brave muscle of mine, and how each time I do, it makes this whole level of a trust thing a bit easier.
2. I release and let go of any expectations that I have – holding onto what I want but letting go of all the details
This came from Sonja’s 30 days of Enlightenment series – In Day 6 – I am content – she talks of how expectations are just resentments under construction. What I am working on is holding onto what I want (an amazing job that I love and will be perfect for the rest of my time in London, an adorable flat that I will have all to myself and be my sanctuary, and the best traveling experience EVER 🙂 So I hold onto that, but let go of exactly what it looks like. Sonja talks about imagining some type of higher power. I know everyone’s spiritual path is unique and individual to them, but for me personally, I take such comfort in believing that there is a Higher power/presence/God supporting and guiding me always.
3. I do my best to stay present and grounded in the current moment.
I am human, I’m not perfect, I can still get caught up in worrying about the future or overanalyzing the past, however, the difference between me now and me a few years ago, is that I am aware of when I slip into these thought patterns and I do my best to break the cycle and get back to the present moment. While I have gained this throughout all of the different Intention Inspired courses, I particularly honed in on this during 30 Days of Love with Amy Leo. On Day 17 – I am scared, I had one of those of A-HA moments where I saw that there was nothing I needed to fix, that I am perfectly imperfect.
Amy talks about how our fears of the future are an incomplete equation. I am scared of something that hasn’t even happened (I.e being a crazy homeless person in London). When I see myself moving into these thought patterns of “how am I ever going to find a job?” And “What if I really can’t find a flat” – I acknowledge them and let them go. I realize that worrying about that future flat and job right now in this moment – doesn’t actually do me any good. I then go back to item number two and work towards releasing that fear/worry to a Higher Power that I believe is guiding and supporting me and then go back to number one to acknowledge the bravery that I have developed from stepping out on this journey in the first place.
Do I still have moments of fear and doubt? Of course. But I don’t beat myself up for them anymore. I think that has been a final thing that has been key for me as I am working towards making peace with uncertainty and the final bullet point of this list
4. I have love and compassion for myself exactly where I am at.
Even if where I am at in the present moment is not feeling all that great.
Only by embracing everything can I make peace with anything.
Am I worried about where I will work when I get back, if I will make friends when I am traveling, and what my future home looks like? I would by lying if I said I wasn’t at all. But I am working on making peace with all of these unknowns and just trusting that everything, as cliché as it sounds, will unfold as its meant to.
For for about Maria visit her blog here: JustMariaKV.com