We work hard, often we give our best in what we do. Still, at the end of the day, we are mostly left with that twinging feeling that whatever we do just isn’t good enough. We could do so much more with our lives. Why aren’t we more successful?
We just can’t stop criticizing ourselves, comparing with other people and it makes us feel like we are less worthy than others.
When it comes to people that we care about, supporting them, encouraging them to pursue their dream is never a difficult task. But, when it comes to ourselves, there’s always a reason why we shouldn’t believe we can do it:
“I can’t learn to play guitar at this age, I am too old for this and not talented.”
“I cannot go to that party and meet new people, I am not too sociable.”
“I am not a good enough parent.”
If our mind is filled with these thoughts, we are not going to be in the mood for doing anything. We are locking ourselves away from any action and initiative when we think negatively about our own capability and worth.
“Never think that you're not good enough. A man should never think that. People will take you very much at your own reckoning.”
– Anthony Trollope
The Joy of Feeling Good Enough
Imagine for a moment the pleasure that comes forth from the feeling that you can do anything. When you are believing in yourself you enable a charge of positive energy to flow into your life.
If we could accept ourselves as we are, with flaws and virtues, we could feel like that every day. This doesn’t mean that we are pretending to be almighty or perfect, or the best. It means that we acknowledge our personal power, we value our worth and accept that we are good enough as we are. This empowers us to go for what we really want, to have faith in ourselves and our ability to figure things out along the way.
Putting things in perspective and not seeing the world as black and white can make us much more stable and content. If we don’t do something perfectly, it doesn’t immediately mean that we are not good people. We are just not perfect, but we are still good enough.
Good Enough is Good Enough
Here are 5 reasons why we are already good enough. If we embrace them we don’t need to chase anyone to confirm our value. Deciding “I am Enough” can enable us to accept and support ourselves on our path to greatness. So, let’s get started.
Reason 1: You Already Accomplished a Lot
Let’s imagine you are about to learn how to swim. You are telling yourself that you should have learned this a long time ago, that you are not capable of this, that you are going to embarrass yourself. If you haven’t learned it so far, you are not going to do it now.
You probably wouldn’t be so excited about those swimming classes, wouldn’t you?
But, if you remember how you got through so many things in your life, you would remember that you are quite good at learning new skills. You mastered riding a bike, running, reading, creating art, etc. Why would swimming be any different?
If you said to yourself: “Okay, let’s learn this, I am going to be a swimmer in no time! I know I can do it, just give me a few months and I’ll be swimming with the dolphins.” In that case, swimming lessons would have a higher success rate and would definitely be more fun. (1)
Reason 2: You are Enough Whatever You Do
Do you remember being a kid, going around doing things out of pleasure and not thinking about the consequences? It might be a distant memory resembling a dream at this point.
No matter what kind of childhood you had you likely experienced doing things without focusing on the outcome. Maybe you were painting even though you were not such a good painter. Playing football knowing you are not going to be a famous soccer player one day.
As kids, we don’t care about achieving as much as we do as adults. You can always choose to connect back to that innocent mindset where the experience itself if the highest value and where freedom from “ I am not Good Enough” always awaits you.
Being ok with yourself no matter what you do is the key to lasting feeling of “I am Enough”. (2)
Reason 3: You are Unique, Therefore You Can’t Be a Subject of Comparison
Bill Gates succeeded, why can’t I? What is wrong with me? Okay, this is an extreme example but you get the idea.
These days, we are bombed with inspirational quotes. We feel like we should be Bill Gates and Michael Jackson’s of the World. But what makes them memorable is exactly that, they are so different than others, they belong to a group of 1% of people in the world. If the standard for being good enough is the 1 %, then 99 % will not be satisfied with themselves.
And as you probably noticed, a lot of people aren’t.
So, next time you go to Facebook and look at photos of your friends showcasing luxurious vacations and think how they are better than you, remember that everyone feels the same way. Others too believe they are not good enough in something. Isn’t that a valid point to show some self-love and stop comparing yourself? (3)
Reason 4: You Already Have Evidence That You Are Enough You Just Didn’t Start Searching for It Yet
Okay, you should be aware of your flaws, but on the other hand, don’t let that convince you that you are a wrong/unworthy person. When you start thinking you are not good enough, stop for a moment and recall all that what is good about you.
Make a list of things you like about yourself, discover parts of you that you are proud of, think of traits that make you unique. You may not always do the right thing, have everything you want or be an outstanding expert in a career you are pursuing, but that’s no reason to forget about all the wonderful virtues you already have. You got through every crisis by yourself, you led your own life to this point and you created a unique life story.
Celebrate your life. Own it.
Reason 5: How You Feel About Yourself is Influenced by Your Expectations. Adjust Them and Be Enough
Last, but not least, we introduce having high expectations as an obstacle to “I am Enough”
Remember one situation where you felt like you were not good enough. Now, try to remember what was the goal that you didn’t achieve. What made you so disappointed in yourself?
Why is that goal so important? Is it a must? Is it the only way? Is it not achievable anymore?
Let’s explore this topic through a short story.
There was a baby elephant that was tied to a stake sitting on the ground. He tried to free himself by pulling the rope, but he just wasn’t strong enough. He tried and tried for months, but without success. At some point, he stopped. He realized he couldn’t do it.
Years passed and he grew up. He was big and strong enough to pull the rope now, but he wouldn’t do it because he convinced himself that he couldn’t.
Getting back to the point. Maybe you were not mature, skillful, knowledgeable or brave enough for the goals you have set for yourself in the past. Maybe you didn’t even give yourself a fair chance to “really go for what you want” before. It doesn’t mean that the game is over and that you will never succeed. It means that there is a need to work yourselves a little bit more trusting that you are good enough when your expectations are matching your reality.
It’s ok to have expectations, as long as they are fair and not some disastrous ultimatum. (5)
Valuing Yourself for Being Enough
Being and feeling good enough brings freedom and serenity to our lives. Self-acceptance related to these feelings leaves us space for spontaneous activities and being open to possibilities.
If you don’t lock yourself with negative thoughts, who knows what could happen. A little bit of love and support for yourself will make you live life to the fullest.
Be satisfied with what you have already done, don’t worry about what is left to be done. It will come with time. Trust that you will figure it out and decide to enjoy the moment called now.
Sometimes you will fail at things. Of course, you will. But the point is not to think about it in advance because you know that whatever happens, you can lift yourself up, cherish the experience, learn from it and continue to create an Intention Inspired live for yourself.