CHALLENGE OF THE WEEK: From Grief to Gladness

The things that people did for me that helped me most during my loss, I try to pass on when others are in pain. Whether it be advice, a gift, or just being there with them. To know all my pain isn’t for nothing but that because of it, I’m hopefully easing someone else’s pain. Pain in any form causes me to notice others more compassionately and when they are experiencing it. It’s always during my most painful moments that I help others most.

Hi ..i need your help..all of you may be can help me.
I married this man ..we love each other..we got married and we start staying together..but there were small issues become big issues..i am still shocked.
He is leaving me ..i still cant believe it..he is leaving me..
I cried and cried i beg and beg that please dont leave me but he said no..where is all the love go from his side? How can he forget me so easily ? I begged and begged …pleaae dont leave me..how can i call him back ? How can he leave me ? His heart wont pain like mine paining..
How i will sleep now ? Or eat ?
He said i am a bad person and i dont deserve him…
I dont know what to say more or do more..i am not able to write what i am feeling and what is going on with me..
Please God give me strength…
And may be you can guide me.
I feel like killing myself then may be he come back.

Love. Its the surest way to get from grief to gladness. Whether its loving yourself, loving those around you who help & inspire you most, loving your pet, loving the small moments in life, or doing something you love. Love, in all forms, will be your cure.

Dont help anyone until the person in need asks for your help. If you do it, they wont recognize that you have done them a favour and wont thank you and that person will not help you when you are in some kind of problem.

As long as you have them in your ❤ heart. Thinking about them as well your keeping them alive. I like to celebrate their birthdays still at their grave stone. That’s what I do with my father who died when I was 16 from drugs and alcohol.

I’ve suffered a lot of loss in my life. I lost my dad when I was nine, a best friend and soulmate at 18 and another best friend at 29. All three related to the monster of addiction. I’m 30 now, and have learned some things about death. 1. It NEVER stops hurting. The hurt just gets different. Sometimes it’s easier to handle than others. 2. Regardless of what I’m feeling, it’s OK to feel that way and I’m OK even through the pain and discomfort. It’s OK not to be OK. I can be mad, sad, angry, jealous, depressed, pissed off, happy, and any other emotion you could think of, and it’s completely OK. I must feel those things in order to walk through the grief to come to a place of peace and acceptance. It’s a fine line, though. I must feel every second of every emotion and be present for it, but I must not live there. I keep moving even through the heaviest of feelings. 3. Sometimes I’m going to reach for the phone to call my loved one. The pain and permanence that comes when that happens is real and thick. It’s always been such a struggle for my brain to wrap around the idea of NEVER. Never seeing my person again, never hearing her laugh or seeing his face. After losing a good friend, my mind will wander and think of them as minds do, and sometimes when a thought pops up in my mind about the fact that they’re really gone, my body physically reacts without any thought on my part. My head will shake back and forth as if I’m saying “no” to the universe. NO, She’s not gone. NO, I’m going to see him again. NO, I can still call her whenever I want. 4. All of that is OK, too. 5. Never let anyone tell you to “get over it” or tell you that you should or shouldn’t be feeling one emotion or another. Know in down in your soul that everything- all of the pain and gladness and sadness- is necessary. Forgive the person who tells you otherwise because they more than likely haven’t experienced the pain of losing someone. Forgive them because one day, they will feel the pain and they may need your guidance and empathy.
I guess more than anything else, know that it’s OK. As long as you keep moving, you’ll survive the pain even when it feels like it’s suffocating you. Then 1 or 10 or 20 years later, you’ll be better able to carry their memories. But it will always hurt. And that’s OK!!
One last thing. There’s a visceral pain that a person feels after they lose a loved one, and I think I’ve figured out what that pain is from. My soul connects with the souls of others. Theirs to mine and mine to theirs. When someone dies, and their soul moves on to bigger and better places, it’s like it rips away from the earthly connection with the souls of those left behind. When that happens, a piece of my soul is ripped away with theirs. A piece ALWAYS stays connected. It’s a beautiful thing, the trading of souls that happens at that moment, but it leaves an open wound. So it physically hurts. It stays raw and open for a while, and then it starts to scab over and heal. Although it heals, there’s forever a place there that will be scarred and tender. Every time I feel the pain of that wound, I try and remind myself that right beside that scar is the piece of their soul that they left with me.
I don’t know if I’ll ever see them again in a way that I could imagine has a human, but I do think I’ll merge with them one day. Until then, I cry when I need to cry and get mad when when I need to get mad- including being mad at god. God can handle our anger. I wish there were words to take the pain away or make it easier to bear, but each person has to walk that personal journey alone. Good luck as you trudge the road of happy destiny.

Its ok to be sad as it just means that you care. Let yourself cry and grieve. You will never forget them or what happened but as days go by it will get easier to manage. You will still have bad days and good days as well but dont let one bad day get you down for the rest of the week. X im here for you xx

I havent had to try this myself but my favourite band (a7x) had a drummer who sadly died due to heart problems since birth. The band was shocked when they found out and all were very sad. The lead singer (M.Shadows) said in an interview that to help with his best mates death he turned to gaming. He loved gaming and still does, he said he used gaming as a way of escaping as he go into his own world. My advice is spend time doing things you love that you can do without thinking about anything else and enjoy it. Hope this helps. Stay strong x