What are the Most Wonderful Perks of Vulnerability?

By Amy Leo
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Amy Leo
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Amy Leo is a fellow human being doing the best she can. She is a three principles paradigm coach, singer-songwriter, and travel addict. With a background in social work and mental health education, she is passionate about alleviating human psychological suffering and travels the world sharing a simple, profound, and scientific truth of how our human minds can work for us, instead of against us...particularly when it comes to our relationships. She loves dogs, her Finnish fiancé (she is even learning Finnish to prove it!), and could put Tzatziki sauce on nearly anything.
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Rebecca
Rebecca

In Brene Brown’s work, she discusses what vulnerability is (revealing your heart to those who have already shown themselves worthy) and is not. People confuse vomiting their pain on every unsuspecting soul as “vulnerability”. It isn’t. Vulnerability is based on mutuality and trust. It’s not over sharing, it’s not purging… I mention this because a few weeks back, a woman I barely know from a social group, asked if she could come spend the weekend with me in the valley where I live, so she could see a different part of our state. Upon her arrival it became clear she wasn’t actually interested in seeing anything I had to show her, she began belching out every negative thing that had ever happened to her, all the disappointing people, all the people who in her opinion are not as intelligent and “evolved” as her… I listened to her for two full days before finally suggesting that I hoped one day she would be healed and not need to rehearse the painful stories of her past. I pointed out that while psychologist used to believe it was healing/purging to repeat painful stories, they now believe we actually re-traumatize ourselves in the verbal… Read more »

Laurie
Laurie

Vulnerability in the wrong company is dangerous

Sabrina
Sabrina

Over the past few years I have been overwhelmed by feeling lonely. In an effort to alleviate this I immersed myself in some volunteer work that ultimately led to an injury that completely changed everything I had access to. Exercise and socialization that I depended on for emotional health are gone. I am vulnerable now more so that ever in my life. Knowing that finds me isolating and feeling tremendous pain. Currently, I am so lost and hurt. Recent events have taught me how quickly other people will attack a vulnerable, lonely person reaching for comfort. Life and I have written another cautionary tale in the chapters of being around aggressive, negative people who thrive on drama.

Sonja
Sonja

I agree with you, Laure. It isn’t wise going around being all vulnerable all the time. That’s why we need to choose to be vulnerable with people who are close and important to us. And even if we “make a mistake” and open up to someone who doesn’t know how to cherish our precious gift of vulnerability it is a great feedback about the quality and potential of the relationship we have with that person.

I think it takes tremendous strength and courage to be able to be vulnerable so if you can do that in the first place I am confident that you’ll have enough resilience to “bounce back” and learn from your experience.

What would be your usual experience with vulnerability?

Diane
Diane

What a great write up and I am so thankful that I took a sabbatical from work over a year ago (50+age) and worked on this very topic with a wonderful guide. I continue to grow my practice in this area. Thank you!

Sandy
Sandy

Hi everyone! I know I’m way behind with my intentions. But I wanted to share an aha moment with you. All my life, I have spent my energy trying to be what I thought everyone wanted me to be…even though nobody actually told me what they expected. I’ve even spoken this out loud when I tell my story to others. Now, the moment of truth as I see it today…I would never allow myself to be vulnerable by showing my true self to ANYONE. The fear of being rejected has always been a part of me, and even though I have grown in my thoughts and actions in the past several years, just thinking about letting my true self be seen scares me. Definitely something I’m going to work on now. Thanks for this topic!

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