10 thoughts on “Day 29 – EXPRESSIVE”
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Day 29 – EXPRESSIVE
Authentically express yourself in a way that is congruent with how you truly feel.
Authentically express yourself in a way that is congruent with how you truly feel.
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I have a lot of anger that I never express. It ends up building up inside me and I take it out on myself. I have heard it said that depression is anger towards oneself and not necessarily sadness.
I always feel the need to be “on” and at full energy because it’s how I’m known. I will allow myself to be vulnerable. I will allowing myself to miss my family and my mum. I will allow myself time to rest, my fallow time.
I usually try to cover up rejection, loneliness, and uncertainty.
Fear = Joy
I tend to “stuff” agitation and frustration, rather than allowing myself to express them and deal with them right away. That has created a cycle of build up, which culminates negatively with either an external blow up (sometimes at someone who doesn’t deserve it) or an internal one, where I get really down on myself. So, I want to more freely express my agitation or frustration in the moment when they are smaller and can be constructively dealt with.
After I lost my mom and husband, I was told never to feel hurt or sad. Hurt meant someone had control over me, and sad meant I was in the pity pool. So for a very long time I tried to smile, be happy and look at all the joy each of these wonderful people whom I love gave to me. Over the past year, losing my dad, reading Intention Inspired, talking with other people, I learned it is OK to feel every emotion. Wallowing is not healthy but feelings, each one is natural. Now, when I am sad, it’s fine, I allow it, and I let it go. But I accept it first.
Joy in this season of thanksgiving and love
some of the big ones i surpress is stress, anger, hurt and sadness. im afraid to as sometimes i am put down or told im not the only one who feels like that.
The family I grew up with is very different from the family I married into. I was raised on the East Coast and we were encouraged to express our emotions. Then I came to the West with my husband. He had an alcoholic stepfather. His mom worked hard to keep things looking good. Nothing of importance was discussed. It was a huge adjustment, but other the years I learned the rules. Which is kind of ironic, because I’ve worked as a counselor and a behavior teacher. I teach other people how to express their feelings and work on ways to get their anger out. I am very in touch with my own feelings. I guess I’ve used drawing, journaling, music, etc… to compensate.
I’ve realized recently that I suppress anger quite a bit. And while I did express it quite freely today (I snapped at my roommate), I don’t know if it was the most effective expression of it.
If I’m digging deep on what I’m trying to protect myself from I guess it would be the anger/reaction of the other person, as well as the whole idea that anger is “bad” (which I know it’s not, it’s a perfectly healthy emotion to feel – I just googled it 🙂 ) I find that I automatically tend to move away/avoid when I feel anger coming on. I acknowledge/deal with it and then express it when I’m not in the heightened state of that particular emotion/feeling. I’m pretty conflict adverse, so a healthier way of expressing it (and ideally before I reach my breaking point like earlier today with my beloved flatmate), would be ideal