When helping others is healthy, and when it’s not.
Providing help to others seems to increase our well-being only when we provide it of our own free will. If we feel compelled to help, whether by another person or by internally self-generated pressures such as shame or pride, helping others won't actually increase our well-being. Our sense of well-being may indeed increase in proportion to the help we provide, but only if our desire to provide it is autonomous. Any action we take to help others, in other words, must feel as if it was our idea.
Helping others can provide us with enthusiasm, encouragement, and even joy by forcing us to summon them when we’re feeling discouraged. Thus, the moments in which we feel happiest aren't just moments to be enjoyed. They're also opportunities to increase the frequency and intensity with which we feel them in the future.
A collection of statistics representing the largest and longest-standing series of observations on happiness in the world, the trait most strongly associated with long-term increases in life satisfaction is, in fact, a persistent commitment to pursuing altruistic goals. That is, the more we focus on compassionate action, on helping others, the happier we seem to become in the long run.
REFERENCES
Weinstein N, Ryan RM. When helping helps: autonomous motivation for prosocial behavior and its influence on well-being for the helper and recipient. J Pers Soc Psychol. 2010 Feb;98(2):222-44. doi: 10.1037/a0016984.
Headey, B. The Set Point Theory of Well-Being Has Serious Flaws: On the Eve of a Scientific Revolution? Soc Indic Res (2010) 97: 7. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11205-009-9559-x