Play today's Going Deeper session below:
Today find a close friend, partner, etc. who is willing to do this exercise with you.
1. First, choose a listener and a speaker. The listener's job is to just listen. Seriously…no giving advice…no relating what the person is saying to a similar situation in your own life…no trying to “move the conversation along” if there are pockets of silence. Your job is just to listen.
2. Set a timer of 7 minutes for each person to talk (you can go longer if you want).
3. Ask a question like “What do you want to think about?” or “What are your thoughts?” It really can be any question, but an open-ended question can be very beneficial in uncovering inner knowing.
4. Listener, just listen. Speaker, feel free to talk about whatever comes to mind. If there are periods of silence (which there most likely will be) that is ok. Allow the silence.
5. Switch questions, switch roles and repeat.
6. Reflect. Take a few minutes each to share what the experience was like to just be listened to without being interrupted or given advice. When you were the listener, comment on what the experience was like for you to just listen. What did you notice? The role of the listener is not to summarize what the person said, but rather reflect on what your own internal process was. What did you become aware of within yourself? Did you pick up on the feeling behind the words of the speaker?
This micro-challenge is based on the work of Nancy Kline and can be an eye-opening and transformative experience.