Listen to today's going deeper session below:
As we've explored throughout our 30 days together. We are all physical beings, we can't help but make concepts out of things to describe our world and our experience.
I invite you to consider, that love, real love is beyond any concept. Love is beyond the words. Love can be loud or quiet. The expression of love is vast, going beyond simple acts of affection. Love is intangible, unlimited, and is a renewable resource.
Yet, we treat love as if it is something we can give or take away from one another, reducing it to something like a piece of Tupperware.
Love is not something we can lose or something that we have to work at. Ironically, love is what emerges when our rigid notions about love, ourselves, others, and world loosen up. When we see the world of thought we are living in and the space in which it all unfolds.
Calling upon the intellect and following how-to manuals are helpful for fixing a flat tire, learning how to use Microsoft Excel, or balancing a checkbook.
But the finer parts of living do not fall into nice, sequential steps and actions.
If you asked me the secret to my relationship, here is a list I could give you:
- Sing to each other
- Wrestle and tickle each other daily
- Be from different cultures
- Don’t take things personally when the other person is in a low mood
- Travel together
- Laugh together
- Don’t take yourself so seriously when you are in a low mood
- Have “great” sex
- Be best friends
- Have weird pet names like pupu (which in English sounds like poo-poo)
But of course, that list is poo-poo. This is because my insights and experience will never directly translate to you, your life, and your relationship. In the same way that lists in Cosmo, famous blogs, or advice given by famous counselors will never directly translate.
We may all live in the same world, but we live in distinctly separate realities. That’s the neat thing about any self-improvement, business or marketing program, or couples counseling therapy, it shows individual wisdom in action. The wisdom of the person who created it.
Yet, there is a problem with this approach in that someone is selling you how their situation turned around by connected the dots backward, whereas you are trying to connect the dots forward.
This is why some people can go through a program or self-help modality and experience amazing results, while others do the exact same actions and follow the program to the letter, but do not end up with great results.
It’s like that famous Steve Jobs speech: “You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”
In closing, the one thing I have seen across the board with people and couples from all walks of life is that having a new definition and experience of the human condition, changes things. People see that compatibility, the solution to any problem, a better mood, or heck, sometimes a “better” spouse, is only ever one thought away. Period.
“One thought changes everything.”
– Mara Gleason
When people have a different experience of their connectedness to others via thought and consciousness, the effects are profound.
When people play around with the notion, “Well, what if it is true? What if it is true that thought creates feeling? What if it true that we are all created from the same intelligent energy, and thus we always have access to that intelligence in the form of inner wisdom?
A mentor of mine said it best once, when you think of yourself as a lone computer, yes you can do some cool things, but when you realize you are a computer that has access to google, wow, now that is a game changer.
I will leave you with this true story involving that same mentor as an inspiration.