by Ebin BarnettAll of what is in the title has happened to me in the last 90 days.
No joke. The business I started with my brother Matt is called Intention Inspired. You may have heard of it? He keeps telling me I need to share my story. I’ve wanted to, but I haven’t for some reason. Then I realized… that’s… actually… part of my story! To be honest, I wouldn’t be posting this if I hadn’t committed to it in The 30-Day Brave Challenge. So here goes… cringe. I can feel those butterflies in my tummy going crazy!!!
I don’t know why, but posting things online scares the shit out of me! For real. I can write something just fine, then I get super nervous as I think about posting it and then delete it. Sometimes I save it to my desktop. I’ll say to myself “I’ll get to that later”. That’s fear getting the best of me. Seems pretty stupid, but hey, it’s real.
I think it’s because you’re putting yourself out there for the world to see, accept/reject, mock praise or ridicule when you post online. I’ve always been a semi-private person, plus I like to keep the stereotypical image up that ‘everything is fine’ even if all hell is breaking loose. You don’t want mom to worry you know? When you write about what’s REALLY going on, you expose the fact that everything’s NOT fine! Maybe that’s what I’m afraid of… my ego. That’s lame, but makes more sense than any other alternative I can think of. I’ve been protecting my ego at the expense of myself… ugh.
I think that’s one reason why I’ve been an alcoholic for about 15 years. Just writing that on paper makes me cringe and a little sick to my stomach. Like I’m a failure as a human being. I don’t know why I’m such a drama queen to myself!!! But the only one that really knew I had a bitchin drinking problem was my wife Melissa (except probably a lot of people who just never told me they knew or had the same problem. Plus I’m pretty damn good at hiding things… ultimately to my detriment. But good for birthdays and anniversaries :-p).
She’s loved me through every step of the way without judgment. I’m so grateful for her. She didn’t try and change me or put ultimatums on me. She just loved me. I know she didn’t love me blacking out and waking up in the driveway. She didn’t love me saying incredibly nasty spiteful things that I couldn’t remember in the morning. Thank God I am not a violent drunk. I could’ve been a monster. I know she didn’t love me reeking of booze in the morning when I was heading off to work or driving myself home because I ‘only had a few’. I should probably be dead. Thank you, God for sparing myself and others from my stupidity.
I think it is because of this I really hesitate to share my story when Matt encourages me to do so. Who wants to hear from a guy like that? We want to hear from Stephen Curry (well maybe not lately) Oprah and Anthony Robbins right? Not a recovering drunk. Just months ago I seemed to have it all figured out according to many of my friends and family. I had the American dream. Corporate big shot job, stay at home wife, kids, money, homes, cars etc… But I felt like the façade would all come crashing down if I put out the truth. And you know what? It is… The façade is crashing down all around me. But you know what else? I’m still alive and every day I feel freer and more empowered! My life continues to improve every single day.
No one puts themselves out there more that I know of than my brother Matt Prindle. He’s amazing. He’s my partner at Intention Inspired and is the one that keeps encouraging me to write. “Just START” he always says. I love him for that. It’s inspiring and encouraging. He wants me to tell my story. I know I’ll never be able to tell it quite like him (you really should check out his Youtube), but I’m finally taking his advice and STARTING!!!
That has been the game changer for me… Just starting… I finally just said “F*** it” and took some ACTION in spite of my ego’s pull to keep everything as is. It wanted me to keep the suit on and “Be somebody”. It wanted me to have a snazzy title on my business card, take fancy vacations and live in a penthouse downtown. It prevented me from true honesty and self-awareness. It kept me blinded to protect itself. That’s not really me.
So, I quit my job (although I was technically fired) and became a nobody. Then… I just “started”. I started to talk to me again (like I used to when I was a kid). I started to like me again. I started to realize that I matter and that the best way to take care of those around me was to take care of myself. The blind don’t lead the blind. Essentially, I started making time for the things that matter. Like these two:
I now have time in the middle of the day to have a picnic with them ‘just because’ or go on a walk or bike ride. I started making little memories that will last a lifetime.
The more I “started” doing things, the more “starting” snowballed. I started getting more physically active and caring about what I put in my body. I started eating healthier. I started sleeping better. I soon realized that I was still drinking heavily everyday out of habit and not because I really wanted to or felt the need to. I had used it as a stress coping mechanism and sleep aid for years, but now I started to see things differently. So I started a new habit and replaced drinking with it and been sober ever since. I’ll write more about that specific journey in another article.
I think you get what I’m saying here. START! Matt’s right. It works. I’m living proof. I’ve finally started to share my story just like Laura who was Brave Enough to Share. It feels incredible to get it out there after I get over the fear of pushing the button! And I know that in some way it will make a difference in someone’s life. If it only helps one person… mission accomplished. I started for a reason. You’re here reading this. Hallelujah.
What do you need to start? I’ll tell you what I’d recommend. Take the 30-Day Brave Challenge. All you have to do is put your name, email and simple goal down. Click the button and you’ve started!!! That in itself is a win. Then from there watch the rest unfold as you join a powerful group of people who have made the same choice to START. START truly living today. START the Brave Challenge! Ok… Ok… I’ll get off my soap box. I just get really pumped up about this!!!
As for me, I’ll keep sharing my story. This is just the tip of the iceberg.
Ironically, just start was the topic of my journaling today. I committed to waking up, starting exercise by walking for 30 minutes today, and that spiraled into meeting a new friend, meditating, and drawing closer to God.
Great job, I quit drinking a little over a year ago and hands down the hardest “easy thing to do”. Still trying to figure out how to start life though. I love hearing that I’m not the only one who pretended everything was good when everything was crashing down around me.
Ebin, Thank you for writing and sharing your story. Congratulations and thank you to you and Matt for creating Intention Inspired. I have appreciated the offerings in these different programs and like the creative set up. Your daughter’s smile looks like your smile. Thank you. ~Leslie
Ebin personally I admired what you and Matt have done by setting up this group /company. You changed my outlook in my life and through this last year it has given me that inner peace back , it has made me realise every trial or dark moment has made me stronger and changed me for the better, by sharing your story it has made me think of what my own father went through, sadly it destroyed him , you have found that inner courage to stop, I applaud you now , great stuff ebin ,
Thank you so much for sharing your story
You have inspired me
Much love to you and your family
My life has been swirling with negative echoes while looking for an anchor. I am the anchor. Giving me a base of confidence and not the depths of pain by not living in the past. Being a survivor of emotional neglect and psychological abuse. I am tired of living behind a fake facade doing my best to divorce myself from my story that is not all bad. It is time to accept the sadness to propel me forward and move on regardless what others think. It is not a reason, to not, live my life fully. It is never too late to embrace my gifts and move forward. I have incredible strength, as my history proves, it is now time to eject the self doubt. While embracing the true gifts in my life that matter to me. I am bright, intelligent and have much too offer.
So inspired by your story Ebin, even though I don’t know you I’m proud of you! I have a son who has struggled with drug and alcohol addiction for over 15 years and he is right now trying very hard and doing well, I have encouraged him to start the Brave Challange I know it would inspire him to be brave and keep moving forward with a healthy life! Thank you for sharing and by the way your two girls are sooooo adorable, enjoy them as they will be teenagers talking about going off to college before you know it. ☺️
Hey Ebin,
Congratulations! Your journey is inspiring, and it is just beginning. It’s great to see that you are beginning to recover yourself and live authentically. The path has many ups and downs, but it is worth it. I look forward to the 30 Days of Brave, which I have just joined.
Welcome to the journey! I agree: Peaks and Valleys… Peaks and Valleys… That’s why we call it a journey. We’re honored to have you along the path with us. We hope it does for you what it has done for us and so many others. Each day I feel I get to know the authentic me a little more and each day becomes a little better than the next. Just excited to keep that process going! Enjoy the journey!!!
Thank you. Thank you for being real. Thank you for starting. I am a little numb as to what to say, as your story really made me think. My take away is that Every decision you make is forever. I never thought of things like that. It has definitely gave me something to consider.
Thanks Jo-Ann. Yeah, if you think about it. All we ever truly have is the moment that we’re in. There’s no real do-overs in life. We just live the best we can and learn from decisions that can never be undone. Glad this provoked some thoughts inside. Usually that leads to good places and personal growth. Cheers to that!
Great story Ebin… the fact that you are brave enough to share it. As a former addict myself, I can relate. Former addict means that things not longer rule my life. Jesus Christ… who is my life is now ‘Ruler in Chief”! This does not mean perfection, but it means FREEDOM! So thanks for sharing.
My inner Willam Wallace just cried out…. FFFFFRRRRRRREEEEEEEDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!!
Thanks for sharing and caring too! It was tough to post this, but oh so liberating! Enjoy that freedom yourself and the Brave Challenge if you’re on that journey with us 😉