4 Ways Determination Saves Relationships

By Amy Leo

What happens when we are determined?

Well, we usually reach our intended goal and if we don’t manifest that specific goal in the way we originally imagined, we still encounter a variety of positive and unexpected implications as a result of this level of commitment and dedication. A mindset of determination is a huge factor in improvement and achievement of any kind (1).

The intention of determined entails making a firm decision and being resolved not to change it.

Determination means doing what we know needs to be done, even when it isn’t easy. Even when we don’t know “the how” of achieving our goal, determination allows us to take brave action anyways. It combines will and skill. It is this combination of internal resources that sometimes gives us the push we need to overcome resistance, self-sabotage, and unforeseen setbacks.

We often think of being determined in a professional context, yet we can also put to use this intention in our relationships.

#1 Determination strengthens commitments & fosters long-term success.

Think of a marriage. Two people have taken vows. They have made a firm decision and have resolved to stick by that decision, through sickness and in health even. Yet, the divorce rate in the United States consistently fluctuates between 40%-50% percent (2).

Now of course there are instances when a divorce is absolutely the right decision such as in cases of abuse of any kind, but I can’t help but wonder…

Do we make it too easy for ourselves to back out on our commitments? Do we too easily succumb to boredom? Is it our human tendency to adapt to and normalize situations that cause us to tire of our partners, not the actual partners themselves?

Of course, we don’t really need to know the answers to any of those questions to improve the quality of our relationships right now. Determination plays a role in the success of many relationships, particularly the romantic ones. That is because our fates are not predetermined. Our relationships are not doomed to fail. Our lot in life is determined largely by the actions we have or haven’t taken. By the thoughts, we hold and don’t hold to be true.

Our determination can be a guide that forces us to consider the long-term implications of our current thoughts and actions. It provides an opportunity to choose more wisely. To make more choices that are in alignment with our desired long-term outcome.

#2 Determination empowers.

Here at Intention Inspired, we are taking a stand for what is possible for human beings. We aren’t so much interested in the status quo. To be determined is to understand the fears and disappointments we are bound to encounter and to make a choice not to run from them or be held captive by them, but rather to overcome them.

The intention of being more determined provides a boost of energy, resources, and morale. Through this lens, we can see that no problem is insurmountable. Instead of complaining about all the things that are going wrong in our lives or in our relationships, we can start to put to use our natural resources of creativity, resilience, and love. We can start being less selfish in our relationships and step back to analyze what the situation really requires. What is it that is required of us in order to experience and accomplish what we deeply desire?

Although this isn’t trendy advice, it is our willingness to develop ourselves that fosters long-lasting, fulfilling relationships. A growth mentality coupled with determination, allows us to put our full potential and power to achieve our desired outcomes, whether that be more love, companionship, or passion in the relationship.

#3 Determination cuts off other options.

Paradoxically, there is a huge benefit in mentally limiting our choices, in making a firm decision. In fact, this action actually tends to increase our contentment with the choice and happiness overall.

Furthermore, think of all the time and energy that is saved from making a determined decision! All that time and energy that currently is being spent “weighing all the options” can be put towards something more fruitful. For MUCH more on this very deep topic, pick up this book “The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less” by Barry Schwartz.

What could happen in your own life if you cut off the option for divorce, a breakup, or relationship failure? (4).

By not giving ourselves an “out” — we utilize our full potential and power. Instead of taking the “easy way out,” our subconscious mind is put to work on how to actually resolve whatever issues or barriers are standing in the way of what we want to experience. We become more curious about our partners and an implication of this is naturally becoming less egocentric, experiencing more creative ideas, and potentially becoming more humble and loving within the relationship. Sounds like a win-win to me!

#4 Determination builds momentum upon itself.

Listening to motivational talks, reading motivational articles like these, and continuing your quest determinedly and open-mindedly will support you in breaking through any blocks and will help keep you energized and motivated throughout the process of moving towards your desired relationship outcome.

Intention Inspired’s Compass can help you be determined. But it’s real power is in helping you stay determined by making it a daily practice. A little bit at a time, fairly often, can move mountains. Check it out here if you’re not already on the waitlist:

Amy Leo
Amy Leo is a fellow human being doing the best she can. She is a three principles paradigm coach, singer-songwriter, and travel addict. With a background in social work and mental health education, she is passionate about alleviating human psychological suffering and travels the world sharing a simple, profound, and scientific truth of how our human minds can work for us, instead of against us...particularly when it comes to our relationships. She loves dogs, her Finnish fiancé (she is even learning Finnish to prove it!), and could put Tzatziki sauce on nearly anything.

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There are some good points here, but I can’t help but think that if these emails (new app) are intended to be uplifting, then maybe readers should be queried so you can avoid sending things like this to people who spent years telling themselves that divorce wasn’t an option, years succumbing to the idea that they’d made their bed and now must lie in it, years ignoring their own souls screaming to get out so that the sound of their own thoughts became something to avoid at all costs. It took at least a handful of mental health professionals, partial hospitalization for a month, attending multiple rehab groups for added perspective, and medical doctors trying to treat me for physical manifestations of my anxiety before I finally realized that I wasn’t going to survive my marriage with my sanity in tact. He didn’t abuse me. He abused himself with drugs and alcohol until eventually we were both just shells of our former selves. He doesn’t want to be present for life and I wasn’t able to carry us both. There is nothing I wanted more than for my marriage to have a happy ending. I’m sorry if my words aren’t… Read more »


This was helpful.

judy smith
judy smith

It will help me stay focused.

Cal Grant-Smith
Cal Grant-Smith

Spot on, thanks!



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